If you could change into anyone…


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Dear Mom,

I didn’t think I’d be writing again so soon, especially with the amount of 9th grade homework that they’ve piled on already in one week, but I need some…something I don’t know what. It’s hard to describe, but I feel like things are changing and I’m scared.

Before you start lecturing me as Professor Dad did, “Katherine, change is an inevitable part of life that we need to accept,” I want to clarify. I get that 9th grade is a year of changes. New school, new kids, new level of homework torture.  I also understand that I dislike change. It is unpredictable and scary. I would rather things stay semi-miserable but certain.

Except for puberty. That change I would welcome, because I’m fourteen and I seem to be behind.  Bridget (my best friend, remember?) is already tall with certain body parts features curves assets that boys find appealing.  Not that I’m totally boy-crazy but I just don’t like feeling like I’m still a child.

Back to the changing, though. I feel like there is something changing inside of me, or maybe it’s something in the air, hovering near by, that will change me. Like I said, it’s hard to describe…and unpredictable and scary. Although maybe not completely scary this time, and that is also a change. I feel a tinge of excitement around the edges that gives me goosebumps. The fun kind you get while riding a roller coaster or you get walking through a spooky house on Halloween. Thrilling.

Speaking of Halloween, which also happens to be two weeks after my 15th Birthday, I need help picking out a costume. I know I shouldn’t already by obsessing, it’s over a month away, but all the stores are already advertising. Like they advertise “Back to School” in the middle of the summer. For my Birthday, I would like a decidedly female figure, the bullying to be over, and any change that is going to happen to be finished quickly.

Is that too much to ask?

I miss you,


Author: Dr. Sam

Samantha Marks, Psy.D., is a Licensed Psychologist and Author. She previously wrote columns about mental health and families for the San Juan Star, and currently writes material for Tween and Teens with both Fantasy and Mental Health themes. A Fatal Family Secret, the first book in The Files, the second book, A Treacherous Social Game, and the third book, A Perilous Blood Oath, are already released! Book four coming soon!

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